Stories about what lies beneath the surface

Dear Sophia, Last night, a message finally arrived. After more than three months of waiting, you would think that would have calmed me. Instead, it did the opposite. I couldn’t sleep. Even the Diet Coke kept me going, as if my mind had already decided the night was not meant for rest. I read the message more than once, hoping it would feel different the second time. It didn’t. It only brought back the silence, the waiting, and all the tension that had been sitting quietly underneath the surface. That is the strange thing about finally hearing something. It does not always bring relief. Sometimes it simply wakes everything up again. By morning, I was exhausted but alert. Still thinking. Still reading between the lines. Still wondering what this message really means. But in the end, it arrives. And with it, a new day begins, with old questions and new challenges waiting to start all over again. Love, the part of you that never left Scammed: The Inside Story of a Perfect Trap ...

  Dear Sophia, There are days when the doubt becomes so loud that I hardly know what is left of me underneath it. Not on the outside.  On the outside, I can still do what needs to be done. I answer people. I keep things moving. I say enough. I look normal enough. Maybe that is the strangest part. From a distance, it probably looks like I am still here in the usual way. But I am not. I have been hiding behind a mask for longer than I wanted to admit. Not a false self exactly. Just a smaller one. A version of me that shows only what feels safe. Only what I can afford to let the world touch. I give people the parts I can manage. The calm part. The polite part. The part that still sounds clear. I keep the rest somewhere further in, where nobody can mishandle it. I did not even notice at first that this had become a habit. It happened slowly. After enough confusion, enough pressure, enough moments of feeling misunderstood or unseen, I started filtering everything. Not because I wan...